Gratitude: Part Deux. :)
Gratitude: Part Deux. :)

I’ve written and deleted four versions of this post already, so I’m really hoping this one takes. ;) I just can’t seem to find the right words for how I’ve been feeling since I went home to visit my family for my lil’ sister’s wedding last week. A lot of amazing things happened during that time (not all family-related), but the thing that has stuck with me the most was the time I got to spend with my grandfather (aka “Papa”). I saw him briefly after Botchie (aka “My Amazingly Awesome Grandmother :)) passed away suddenly last year, but it was extremely hard for me to see him without her. I wasn’t conscious of it at that time, but I realize now that I purposely procrastinated seeing him because I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it as well as I felt he deserved me to. Shameful, I know, so I promised myself when I saw him at the wedding I’d spend as much time with him as I could to make up for my temporary cowardice.

At first it did seem much easier seeing him under these circumstances. Everyone was bustling about with wedding preparations, and it helped immensely that we were in Cincinnati instead of Charleston. (Chucktown feels too much like “home” to me, and it breaks my heart over and over again to know that Botchie’s not at home anymore. :() But the more I sat and talked with him, the more I could see how very lost and sad he is without her. All he wanted to do was reminisce about their romance and  lives together, which started when he was just 19 (he’s 88 now). I could tell he just wanted her back “home” with him so badly, and even though it made no logical sense, all I could feel was helpless because I’m not able to give that to him. :( I think I did a good job of keeping up smiley appearances for his sake, but every day when I got back to my hotel room I’d start bawling to myself. I try to be zen about things as much as I can, but sometimes I just cannot stop the pain from welling up so strongly that all I can do is sob uncontrollably and cry out, “WHY?????” (I clearly have a long way to go towards enlightenment. ;))

I absolutely refuse to let my despair get the best of me for long, though, so I made sure to enjoy the hell out of every single second I got to spend with my family while I had the opportunity. And it was absolutely wonderful. :) xoxoxo There’s no way I can accurately convey to you just how magical that time at home felt. (As I said, this is my fifth attempt at posting about it.) Nothing I write seems powerful enough to accurately do it justice. At this point I’m resolved to post whatever generic drivel happens to spew out so I can move forward to the next adventure, rather than dwelling in these beautiful, yet  bittersweet, moments. I think I’m just going to cheat a lil’ and let Lester Burnham (whom I used to have a HUGE crush on, btw :)) explain what I’m feeling right now:

Gratitude. That’s all I really know to say. For every good, bad, or otherwise moment I’ve ever had with my family, I am grateful. I hope (Blue Lantern style ;)) that we are fortunate enough to be blessed with many more happy adventures together. No matter what, though, I am exceedingly grateful for every bit of time I’ve had with them up to this point, and I will sincerely treasure every single second I am fortunate enough to spend with them from now on. (I’ll just try to stop getting all emo online about it… ;)) I leave you with these happy family pics (which are completely boring to you guys, no doubt, but since they mean an awful lot to me, to “Posted Land'” they go ;)), and the promise to get back to my geeky, not-quite-so-thinky postings ASAP. :)

wed1

My awesomely fun dad and beautiful sisters. <3

wed2

All of us dancing together during the “Father/Daughter” dance. :)

papawedding

 Dancing with Papa. :) <3 <3

wed4

The extremely sweet, loving, and happy couple. <3 <3 <3

 

Thanks for giving me a place to talk about all this without feeling  judged. Love you guys. :)

Biggest hugs ever,

Me  

PS- For my first official step towards geekified normalcy, I present you with this post from the one and only Ms. Lynda Carter’s Official Facebook page:

wwfb2

The pic she chose was unfortunate (and the FB comments aren’t all that nice, of course ;)), but I am super happy to report that this latest meeting with her went sooooooo much much better than my original NYC trip. :) I was scared as heck to go to her show, but wanted to support her, regardless. I thought maybe if I didn’t get too fancied up (read: pornified ;)) she wouldn’t recognize me, so I dressed super casually and inconspicuously. (Or so I thought…I guess this getup still doesn’t qualify as “normal”. :)) I almost bolted right after her performance, but fortunately I was with some friends who REALLY wanted to get pics with her, so I stuck it out with them to see what would happen. I swear I wasn’t even going to mention anything to her about the “We Can Be Heroes” campaign or who I was; I just wanted the chance to be a random, anonymous fangirl. However, the REAL Ms. Prince recognized me right away. She smiled and called me over to chat and meet her friends/family. She was sooooooooooooooo amazingly nice  this time, and I love that I got this second chance to speak with her. She could never do anything to stop being Wonder Woman in my eyes, but this meeting made me an even bigger fan of the actual real-life woman behind our beloved Wondy. (Just another thing to be grateful for…That, and Instagram filters when you don’t have much makeup on. ;)) xoxo

wwme

PPS- I am really behind in replying to comments, and for that I sincerely apologize. It’s on my To-Do list for this weekend to get caught up as much as I can, and I thank you for continuing to stop by and say hi, even though I haven’t been able to reply as immediately as I would have liked. :) xoxoxoxoxoxoxo 

Posted by Kasey 24 Comments
  • habs_69

    You have me curious with that amazing things happened but not all family related line but it’s none of my business so I’ll leave it alone.

    I know how hard it is to find the right word when you’re trying to write what you’re feeling but you did a beautiful job and the American Beauty clip was a great touch ;) Actually listen to it as I read your post and as I’m writing… you did it again, got me all teary eyed think about my grandfather and how he was at my grandmother funeral how sad he was. Remembering him going up to the coffin and kissing her one last time (crying as I write this… what the FUCK!). I wish I could tell you that it well get easier for him but when you’ve loved someone for that long and that deep it’s never easy to losing them, time heals all wounds but some wounds just take a little longer than others. As long as he has family and friends around him he’ll get through it.

    That’s the spirit, enjoy every moment you have with them because we can never get those moments back and that’s what makes them so special! Emo chick are sexy always looking so sad, I like that… Sad chicks it’s a fetish haha. No one that writes you here gets bored of your pictures or your posts, especially when you looks as happy and beautful as you do in this pictures including the WW one ;p The one with your grandpa is my favorite ;)

    This is your place and only good and decent people come here and those that don’t can get the F out. We are the ones that should be thanking you for sharing part of your life with us, the least we can do is be supportive ;).

    I just went to the FB page and man did I want to rip into some of those A-holes but decided not to… so I wouldn’t get blocked a la twitter ;p. I did notice that some thought that you were Lynda Carter haha that was pretty cool and I did leave a comment (I love the both of them) because the both of you ROCK! “It’s never too late to make a first impression” I think she wanted to make it up to you for the first meeting, I’m sure she felt bad about how she acted towards you and wanted to show you the real WW she is. LOL IG filter ha get out of here no filter could ever do your true beauty justice and you’re my real Wondy… Well not really she is but your a close second… maybe third… you’re in the top 5 that for sure ;p

    I’m so happy that you had such a great time last week with you family and got to have some nerdy adventures when you got back!

    You know I always end with sending you good vibe and hug. This time from the bottom of my heart I hope, wish and pray for nothing but lots of blessing, joy. happiness and good fortune for you, your family, friends and loved ones! You’re lucky to have them in your life as the are lucky to have you in theirs.

  • http://www.flushgorden.co.uk/ Flush Gorden

    Remember when it comes to things like this it’s always better out than in and just think of all the time and money you’ll save on therapy by getting your inner thoughts out here and all the while looking rather elegant in…um…it could be blue or it could be purple. I’m slightly colour blind but I’m going with purple. My cousin’s civil partnership is the only wedding I get misty-eyed about when I think back on it and I remember the sight of those piles of bacon rolls stacked up like mountains on the buffet table. And that is the reason I’m all for gay marriage to the point where I’ve suggested that they do it all over again in October when it’s legalised here.

    It does sound like this less formal meeting of the two of you was much more pleasant. I think this means the only sparkle you need to take with you to these thing is your smile :D

  • Chris.H

    Do you still use/check this account often (every week) : “diana@dianaprincexxx.com”?.

  • Chris.H

    I have sent several emails to “diana@dianaprincexxx.com” since your latest reply in early February.

  • Jason Ramboz

    I for one enjoy hearing about your life, even when it’s more serious. I think you’re a very cool person, and like hearing what you have to say, no matter what it’s about.

    It’s always hard to lose someone, but it does get a little easier over time. I don’t think the pain ever goes away completely (and, to be honest, I’d be kind of worried if it did), but eventually it’s at least less raw and easier to handle. I know you’ll get through it.

    Maybe it will help to think of it this way: you must have had some amazingly awesome times with Botchie if missing her hurts so much. Those kinds of experiences are so extremely special, and they’re what makes the hurting worth it.

  • DianaPrinceXXX

    Your last paragraph is beautiful, and exactly right. Thank you. :) xoxoxo

  • DianaPrinceXXX

    Yesssir, but I got behind trying to catch up with the belated Holiday Hero stuff. I will do a search for your emails in just a few…Thanks for lmk. :)

  • DianaPrinceXXX

    It was blue, but good guess. ;) xoxoxo

  • http://www.flushgorden.co.uk/ Flush Gorden

    Tardis blue I hope ;o)

  • DianaPrinceXXX

    I’ll update you soon…They just all seem so unimportant in comparison, y’know?

    Gack!! You made me cry again, too!! You need to start adding warnings to your posts, mister! :P xoxox

  • DianaPrinceXXX

    LOL Thank you, sir. :) xo

  • DianaPrinceXXX

    Agreed…I wish I could properly relay some of his stories to you. If they were in a movie, I’d think they were super sappy and far fetched. But I know they really were like that with each other, which is so amazing and beautiful to me…We should all be so lucky. :) <3

  • DianaPrinceXXX

    Of course!! (Not that it was my choice, but let’s pretend that’s why she picked that color. ;)

  • DianaPrinceXXX

    You just inspired me to go check out the FB comments again…They could be worse, I guess. I totally do look like a tranny when I’m not all makeup-y!! (The curse of strong features, I guess…On the plus side you can also look evil/demonic with very little effort!! ;)

    I didn’t see your comment (I just kinda skimmed them real quick), but thanks for having our backs! ;) How anyone could ever insult the other chick is beyond me. She is all that is awesome in the world!!!

    You also inspired me to leave a comment of my own. I had to borrow a friend’s FB acct bc I don’t have one (since the bastiches deleted me), but I figured I couldn’t leave the tranny comment unanswered & was obligated to like some of the nicer folks. ;)

  • habs_69

    My FB pic is me and my brothers not my walking dead pic on IG that’s probablyy why you didn’t notice it and don’t say that shit, you don’t look like a tranny. That shit puck bitches say online because they’d never have the balls to say it someones face, they think they’re tough insulting people online they’ve never met. I saw your comment it’s was such a Kaseyesk reply… way too nice but that’s why I <3 U

  • habs_69

    You’re so full of it… made you cry haha! I’ll make sure to add a Kasey Warning label next time ;p

  • D

    Hi Kasey!

    So glad you’ve been able to settle what issues were stunting your progress in life (at least with whatever you choose to disclose). I hope you continue to find happiness and you are still my all time fave !

  • NotyourTypicalTweet

    Nothing to do with your heart felt post. But I saw this gif on Reddit and thought of the only person I know that likes Spider-Man 3 http://i.imgur.com/QegcOvb.gif

  • DianaPrinceXXX

    Haha Yes!!! Thank you!! :) xoxoxo

    I’ve been hearing a lot of mixed reviews on the newest Spidey, and the peeps that don’t like it say things like, “It makes me appreciate S3″. That’s probably meant as harsh criticism, but I’m just glad people are finally realizing how awesome it really was! ;)

  • DianaPrinceXXX

    Awww…That was super sweet! Thank you!! :) xoxo

  • Scott T

    Don’t feel bad; I tried to get in touch with her a few months back for a zombie related film project, then again for a music video I was doing and couldn’t get a reply either. I gave up. Still occasionally browse the blog, though, just because.

  • Scott T

    Tranny … I don’t see it. It’s not the best pic I’ve seen of you, but I definitely wouldn’t go so far as to say: tranny. That’s like saying a Ferrari looks like a Honda. Craziness…

    I dig the other chick! Pure awesomeness. Rad costumes on you both. I’m not one for pics of myself but I definitely would’ve wanted a quick one with the two of you.

  • reef

    Hey love whats up how u been hope all is well with u if ur in NYC next time we half to link up

  • Chris.H

    Thanks for the update!. No reply yet. Does that mean that you’re still “behind trying to catch up” or busy with other things right now?.